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  • Jennifer Stafford

N.U.M.B: Not Understanding My Being


"Every living organism is fulfilled when it follows the right path for its own nature." - Marcus Aurelius

Self-induced human suffering eventually nurtures the numbing that tortures the soul. Allow yourself to look deeper. Then take yourself a little deeper. Hurt people, hurt people. Do you see it?


You are a powerful creature that runs on an interconnected system which requires you to pay attention to yourself. Did your parents teach you to pay attention to yourself? Did their parents teach them? Not being familiar with ourselves on the inside can create chaos on the outside.


Have you noticed the increase in chaos lately? People are hurting and most are unaware of what to do for themselves. Many people feel stuck mentally as a result of not knowing how to feel their feelings. So much unresolved emotion has built up internally, disease and destruction are commonplace. Us humans are emotional beings by nature, we cannot un-feel our emotions. More of us must figure out how to allow them to flow through us. When we deny, avoid or are uncertain of how to feel our feelings we struggle to exist in our reality. When our emotional reality lacks acknowledgement we can create surplus suffering for ourselves and others.


As humans, one of our survival mechanisms in the brain is paying attention to potential threats. Unfortunately, it can leave us skewing negative without having the actual desire to do so. Think of rumination and negative thought spiraling. Our brains are built to inspect negative events and uses our past experiences to aid in our understanding of the world and our place in it. Our brains are built to protect us, but we must use our minds to build a brain that knows how to navigate unpleasant emotion. The brain is a physical organ made up of blood vessels and nerve cells, the mind is invisible. The mind is a mental structure made up of our thoughts, feelings and choices.


Understanding what it means to be human, particularly in our modern day society is critical to our mental well-being. Understanding the nature of suffering and how it is an inevitable part of being alive is foundational for our mental health. Suffering is a natural consequence of being alive. With life, the beauty lives alongside the pain. In being alive we will have experiences, both positive and negative. Accepting this reality allows us to permit unpleasant emotion to rise and then fall. This is where our only true control in life exists, being actively aware of how our being is navigating being alive.


When we choose not to feel or do not know how to feel unpleasant emotion, we lose access to parts of ourselves that require our attention. The unpleasantness runs the show and our true underlying needs never get met. This is why learning how to pay attention to ourselves is so critical. Understanding how crucial this is, is essential to the core of your well-being. When we are numb our internal world becomes starved of our attention. Life dissatisfaction brews until it boils over into external chaos, particularly in our communication and interactions with others.


Our thoughts build physical structures in our brains and those structures guide our self-operation. Did anyone ever tell you that YOU are responsible for your thoughts? Well, you are and the thoughts you choose are entirely up to you. We do not have to inflict additional suffering upon ourselves; the natural ebb and flow of life will bring enough suffering to our lives.


If hurt people hurt people, why not learn how to pay attention enough to not hurt yourself? Your mind curates your experience in this life. Pay attention to your mind and help your brain lead you to being your most desired version of yourself.


Self-induced unconditional human love can calm the chaos of any occurrence.



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