The relationship that we have with ourselves is the most crucial relationship we will have in this life. Not understanding our needs is the first step to having an unhealthy relationship with ourselves. It is important we pay attention to us because how we experience various emotions is paramount when it comes to relationships. Not knowing how to acknowledge how we are impacted by particular thoughts and feelings can lead us and whoever we interact with down an emotionally draining road. A frivolous competition of energy to control the direction the interaction goes. There are steps that we can take to honestly, compassionately and vulnerably start accepting our emotions.
The steps are simple, sticking to them is how they may feel challenging.
1. Acknowledge the emotion you are experiencing
2. Accept that you are experiencing it
3. Ask yourself how you would like to respond to your emotion
4. Accountability- hold yourself accountable for how you managed the experience of your emotion
We must work to relate to ourselves differently if how we are operating is not working for us. We are responsible for our own emotions. Creating distance between us and our emotions allows us to identify them as an experience rather than intertwining them with who we are and how we see ourselves. Pain and suffering will never end, but neither will joy and happiness so it is up to you how long you allow yourself to sit in your emotion. When it feels nice we like to bask in it, when it is unpleasant we often want to avoid it and act like it did not happen. Believe it or not, some of us actually try to avoid emotions all together.
The homework that I give you today is to try the steps above and remind yourself daily that although we cannot fight the inevitable, we can impact the possible.