There is an inner hurt that has been poked when we find ourselves reacting defensively in any given interaction. When we feel like we have to defend or protect ourselves after speaking to or dealing with someone, it is usually because of some kind of pain we have that lays dormant within us. Sometimes we even silence ourselves in an attempt to prevent an unpleasant reaction in someone else, mistakenly believing that we can control or be solely responsible for the feelings of another person.
We all have wounds that unconsciously guide our actions. There is no magic monkey inside of us that "makes," us or anyone do anything.
Changing the lens of our wounds into one of wisdom takes work and that takes too long so we quickly lose patience and walk through life inflicting our pain onto any lucky winner that catches us in the wrong moment. What is the work? Try being with yourself. How does it feel? How long does it last? What thoughts are you having right now? Why did that come up for you? Who told you that? Why are you supposed to do what you are doing?
Be patient with you. Sit with you and allow yourself to ask yourself questions about how come and why you do what you do. How can "I don't know," be your most truthful answer to how you are feeling when you are the only person that experiences life as you? No one can know your wounds better than you. Which means only you can truthfully tell yourself what you need in order to heal.
If our skin can figure out how to navigate our scrapes and bruises then of course our minds can too, right? Where do our emotional scrapes and bruises live? If it is about not knowing how or where to start, then find out. When we are willing to do something different, we will.
When we finally locate the wisdom deep within our wounds we get to enjoy the real essence of pleasure and passion. You wake up and look up when the wounds no longer weigh you down.
Wisdom is when we learn how to include our emotions into our lives and not just accept them.
It may not feel like it, but it truly is a choice.