Dating 101

January 23, 2014

You meet a nice guy or girl and the two of you end up going on a date.  During the course of your date you find out that the other person isn't in a relationship, but dating.  How do you respond, do you sign up to join their list of potential suitors?  Or do you politely inform them of their updated jerk or slut status and end the evening after you've downed your last cocktail?

 

Being single at times can be very tough and if you decide to go out there and date, you're a lot more likely to come across a potential love interest that's not only interested in you.  Hey, it's the 21st Century and people like to weigh their options.  So what does dating really mean to you and how do you know if you're going to end up on the up and up when it comes to the dating world?  I'm sure you've heard it before and you're probably going to hear it again, communication is the key.  Just because you aren't in a monogamous relationship doesn't mean you can't benefit from getting some clarity on how you and the person or people you're dating define what's going on.  If you're dating two people and hooking up with both of them (hooking up defined here as sex--hopefully protected), your other prospective dating partners should know about it.  Now, they don't have to know who and what positions, but being honest and communicating your intentions alleviates the need for unnecessary arguments or feelings of guilt and shame on your part and feelings of embarrassment on their end.  

 

Over the years I have seen many single clients struggle to be honest about their intentions because they fear causing any hurt to their prospective partner's, in turn they omit things to spare the other persons feelings.  All the while, the other person is sensing something isn't adding up and wrestling with a world of assumptions in their head.  Assumptions that are typically much harsher than the reality of the situation.

 

So the remedy is you ask?  Again, COMMUNICATION.  Talking it out with the person or people you're dating will help get everyone on the same page individually.  Again, it isn't about you holding a meet and greet so every potential lover comes face to face with the competition.  It's about identifying intentions and allowing for realistic expectations. Now, go date and watch out for biting off more than you can chew because being greedy will only get you in trouble!

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