How many times have you found yourself looking into your partner’s eyes after an argument wanting to run as far away as you possibly could? But, you don’t, you never do and for some reason you feel like you can’t. Why do you stay, is it love, loyalty or fear?
So many couples stay together for the wrong reasons. Couples have been staying together and feeling fearfully unhappy for decades. If they're dating they knowingly cheat on one another and routinely argue. If they're married, they become like roommates and live parallel lives. Whether it's age, kids or fear of rocking the boat; many people would much rather bask in the ambiance of discomfort and nothingness than figure out what happened to the happiness they once felt. A lot of the time the actual "time," the couple spends together is spent arguing, they have sex a few times a year and can't seem to overcome the feeling of being stuck. Does this sound familiar? Well, you're not alone and if it's not through personal experience it's ringing a bell because we all know couples that can attest to having felt this way.
There's no short cut, being in a genuinely happy and loving relationship takes work. After years of life experience under our belts, we have to work hard at allowing ourselves to be reinvented in long-term relationships. I'm not saying the shift from burnt out sticks to a rekindled fire will happen over night, but what I am saying is that it can be done. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you lose yourself and after a while your happiness. When in a relationship you should aim for someone that understands and accepts you and your life story. Find someone that will fight rather than throw in the towel when life presents with obstacles. If you find yourself feeling unhappy talk to your partner, self evaluate and make it a habit to check in every few months just to make sure both of your needs are being met in the relationship. Ultimately, you want to be with the person that's willing to do the mutual work it takes to reach and maintain true love and happiness. Remember, it takes work, but it's possible.